An Open Letter To My Younger Self


You are beautiful. You are enough.

You are absolutely perfect to so many people. Love yourself because you are loved. 

Stop caring so much about what people think of you… it will cause you so much pain one day. Don’t waste time on boys who treat you like you’re worthless because one day, it’ll make you feel worthless too. 

Reevaluate your friendships.

Surround yourself with the right crowd who cares about you for what’s inside, not what you look like on the outside. Look at who you consider your “friends,” if you find yourself using more effort to fit in with them than you do actually communing with them, get out. 

Don’t let a boy’s acceptance determine your worth. One day, you’ll have your first heartbreak, and it will completely rip you apart. BUT, the answer isn’t to try and change your appearance to get him back. Trying so hard to lose weight that isn’t there to lose won’t make him come back. The only thing it will do for you is cause you years’ worth of an abusive eating disorder. And after the purging and starving is over, it will take even longer to piece back your mental health. 

Please, love yourself for who you are now. You can’t see it in the mirror now, but trust those around you when they say you are beautiful and thin and have nothing to work on. 

Tune the haters out.

Tune out the people who criticize you and make you feel like you’re not enough. You are enough. Tune the voice in your own head out when it starts to tell you lies, too. 

No one cares that much about what you look like. I promise, no one cares more about how you look than you. Everyone else is just as concerned with their own bodies, they aren’t even worried about yours. This anxiety that everyone is staring while you eat or judging your stomach in your bikini is borrowed trouble. I promise promise promise people already think you look great. You do not need to lose weight over this fear that others think you're big. You’re not big, and they don’t care like you think they do. They do, however, care about your personality, which is the best part of you… focus on that instead. 

It’s not worth it.

I promise the years of trauma you will put your body through, and the long term medical issues you will have are NOT worth the mental damage you’re doing. You are so beautiful and I swear to you that fitting into a size 00 when your body is built for size 6, is not the key to a mentally happy life. Being thin, is not worth it. Being unhappy and anxious, is not worth it. Not being able to enjoy the holidays out of fear you’ll overeat, is not worth it. 

To my younger self: be confident. People love you for you. Not for what you look like. You are so blind right now, but I promise one day everything you thought was important just doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of life. Your mental and physical health is far more crucial than a fleeting friendship or a boy who never deserved you. Appreciate who you are today and love exactly who God made you to be inside and out. 

You are loved, and you are beautiful. Just the size you are.

 

With Love,

Lori

 

Written by Lori Covey 

1 comment

  • Jonathan Goddard

    That was beautifully written, but must’ve been hard to write. You certainly are strong and a great role model!

    Sharing your story touched me in a way. I felt a great deal of empathy towards the first part of your story and some others cause of my struggles with self esteem and girls in highschool.

    Thank you for sharing :)

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