Written by Caitlin Grogan
Dear sixteen year old me,
I am sorry I can’t be there for you. I am working so hard to be the person that I needed when I was younger, I am working hard to be the person you need. I know you feel alone, I know this journey feels impossible, but I’m telling you this: it will be just fine.
And I know you won’t believe me. I know that “you’ll be okay” sounds a lot like a lie, but it isn’t. Believe your favourite high school teacher when she tells you that everyone who says “high school is the best time of your life” is lying. Believe her because things will get so much better. Believe it when people say “it gets better” even though you can’t see it.
There will be a lot of times where you won’t be okay, but that’s okay. There will be a lot of times where you’ll want to give up, but you need to keep holding on. Because you will get better and life will get better and days will get shorter and hours will get fuller. Because you still haven’t seen the sunrise over the ocean and you haven’t driven down the highway with the roof down and wind ringing in your ears. You haven’t kissed for hours that passed in a blink of an eye. You haven’t seen your favourite movie yet and you haven’t discovered you new favorite book. You haven’t built a snow fort with the love of your life. You haven’t danced it all out. Maybe you think you have, but are you really sure? Are you absolutely certain that you’ve done everything you’ve ever wanted to do? Everything you could ever possibly want to do? Are you sure? I’ll let you in on a secret, you haven’t.
You haven’t had coffee at the top of a mountain in New Zealand, you haven’t had a glass of wine on the boardwalk in Sydney, you haven’t petted lambs in Switzerland, you haven’t even met the love of your life yet. You haven’t slept in until supper time, you haven’t met the Prime Minister, you haven’t saved the world yet. But I’ll tell you something, you will (the saving the world part is still in progress though).
You’re going to smile so big your cheeks hurt, you’re going to laugh so hard you can’t breathe, you’re going to look in the mirror and accept what you see. You’re going to fall in love - with coffee, books, the feeling of sunshine on your nose, with girls, with boys, with yourself, and I’ll tell you that last love will be the best one yet.
Someday you’ll realize that every sleepless night, every tear, every moment you wish never happened, happened for a reason. Eventually you’ll understand that every choice you made was the right one because every path you took lead to this moment right now.
And I’ll tell you one thing - the view is beautiful.