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Removing Toxic People From Your Life

Posted by Alexandra Van Rijn on

You constantly feel as if you are being dragged down. You have a weight that is tied around your ankle and you are being pulled you deeper and deeper into a dark abyss. This is what it feels like to be friends with a toxic person.

At first hanging around this person is fun; they are bringing light into your life. It may even be a kind of light that you've never seen before. But as time continues you can tell that there is something off about your relationship with them. Your brain cannot feel it, but your gut is telling you something different. Your body, your mind and your soul ends up completely and totally rejecting this person. This feeling, whether it's towards a significant other or a friend, is something that is completely okay. It is your own body telling you that this person is toxic. This process that seems to come along with removing this person from your life can be tolling, but to be able to grow as a person you need to let them go. They are no longer meant to be a part of your story.

Being a twenty something in the twenty-first century, I can vouch that holding onto these types of people can be emotionally and physically draining. The emotional part might be obvious, as you will be able to feel what this person is doing to you (that yucky feeling in your stomach). Or they might just be playing with your head. The physical part can soon follow, as it saddens you, you feel your energy being drained. It’s like a small hole has been made and they are slowly deflating you.

With all of this comes the inevitable void, and to try and fill this void you’ll start doing things like checking up on them, and trying to keep up with what they’re doing, checking their social media profiles. Wondering if they’ve taken down the photos of you two together, or have posted anything new and whether it’s about you. My advice -you don’t want to do this, but it becomes an impulse. It becomes almost as routine as brushing your teeth, or pouring milk into your cereal. Stopping this is easier said than done, but I can reassure you that once you take these steps, it will be more than worth it in the end. Once you remove them from the online world, you can successfully remove them from your real world.

It is scary to let people go, but scary doesn't always mean it is a bad thing , sometimes it’s necessary. At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life. Today, November 17th, is ‘National Un-Friend Day’ but if you find that you have toxic people in your, I urge you, please do not wait for a certain day to let them go.

Written by Campus Rep, Josh Clapp 
(Co-Written by Kaylee Perkins)
Edited by Executive Assistant, Addie Van Rijn 


  • Do you have any tips for going beyond unfollowing and unfriending? How do I stop my self from the impulsive searches (that I am still able to do even once I have unfollowed/unfriended)?

    CMS on

  • Sometimes you have to choose not to accept toxic relationship even if they are family. Inner peace is more important

    Mel on

  • But what if said toxic person is family, even a parent?

    LBJ on

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